I am a Stay at Home Mom Who Sucks at It

Disclaimer: I love my children more than anything else on this Earth. I am blessed beyond belief that I have two girls and two boys and they are healthy and so full of joy. It is not a slight thing that we are in a lucky, amazing position that my husband is able to work hard everyday outside of the home and I am able to work inside the home. Every. Single. Day.

The thing is, I pretty much suck at it. While I don't consider myself in the shitty mom category, I wouldn't exactly nominate myself for a mom of the year trophy either. I get antsy being at home for long stretches of time. If the weather is calling for a blizzard, while most people are stocking up on essentials, I'm looking for a sharp utensil to stick in my eye. We experienced more illnesses this winter than we have ever had. The kids were dropping like dominoes for a good three month period. They were sponges that absorbed every possible strand of strep that could be found on any child within a 30-mile radius. The bulk of our winter was spent between the pediatrician's office and inside our home. In some ways this was positive (we completed jigsaw puzzles, I found the bottom of the laundry basket and I started this blog) but in many ways it was negative (so many days of school missed, loneliness and consumption of too much wine, chocolate and television).

I have come to realize that I thrive in being a part of the outside world. I crave girlfriends, chopsticks, the smell of coffee shops and bright but not too bright, shiny store lighting. I feel alive when I can breathe people and places in. I take my kids with me everywhere because I want them to feel that same sense of vivaciousness that exists all around us. But it is exhausting to take this eight and under generation out into the big beautiful world. It is sometimes hard to have appreciation for the ducks eating bread at the water of the city dock when one twin is headed for traffic and the other wants to try to fish for a floating Bud light can. When we go to Target we average four bathroom trips before checking out. The majority of our "quality" time spent in the mall is to backtrack stores where my kids "borrowed" items from (hair clips, toys, small live animals- I now have to frisk them before we leave any stores, the little thieves). The stares I receive from waitresses, retail employees and fellow shoppers is a magical blend of both sympathy and terror.

I do have a certain adoration of this seemingly painful form of entertainment or I wouldn't put myself and nearby staring strangers through it. I will take a double twin kicking, screaming meltdown in the nut aisle (pun intended) of Trader Joe's than to have an uneventful day at home. Call me insane but I usually find more joy in our adventures than embarrassment. Steve and I want our children to value going out to eat, how to order, sit still and to feel the bliss that comes with not having to clean the kitchen every once in a while. It is important that children learn how to behave in public and be a functioning member of society, even if it takes a couple of spilled drinks and bowls of overturned spaghetti to be able to be on their way.

And it has gotten easier. And I know (a girl has to never lose faith) that it will continue to be less and less like taming wild beasts at every public outing. The day will come when we will not be a walking ad for birth control. I wonder if I will miss it. No. I know that I will.

The everyday moments are often the ones that are the sweetest and most fleeting.
Standing in pajamas, holding a sock monkey, barely tall enough to see what lies on the counter.
Priceless.

The alone time that I so deeply currently crave will be abound and the energy and laughter that fills my days will be in the better part of my life's memories. I believe selective memory is the key to happy parenting. Maybe I don't suck as much at this parenting thing as I think that I do and you know what? You don't either. Maybe it is having witnessed enough of your own childrens meltdowns and to see enough of other people's to realize that we are not alone. The wildness of the child-raising experience connects us if we allow it to. The fact that it is fleeting reminds us to hold small hands while we can. It is not a sugar coated experience; cavities will always emerge in one form or another. But if we are honest and can tell the stories and laugh through the journey we will go through it smiling, or at the least, believing that we will make it.

We are going to be okay.

Happy almost summer rockstars...

To Market Pasta Sauce

Our vegetable garden is planted and the farmers markets are open and glorious. This window of sunshine where spring meets summer is the happiest to me. I want to celebrate the ingredients of the season while, more importantly, minimizing time spent in the kitchen. Introducing my "To Market Pasta Sauce". This sauce tastes like a Greek influenced blend of joy and the bulk of ingredients can be found in your herb garden and farmers market. Happy Spring/Summer. Let's just shorten it to Sprummer, shall we?

The Players:

• 2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1 Tbsp. Earth Balance spread (or 1 Tbsp. butter)
• 1 Tbsp. fresh chopped oregano
• 3 cloves of chopped garlic (or more if you fancy your garlic)
• 1 diced medium yellow onion
• 1/2 cup white wine (save the rest of the bottle to enjoy with dinner)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1 large or 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 3 slices of fresh parmesan (I used the long side of a parmesan triangle; you can use more or less depending on how much cheese you prefer; can also substitute with vegan parmesan or nutritional yeast if making a vegan sauce)
• 1/4 cup fresh mint leaves

The Game:

This is how much sauce I got from one big beautiful tomato. 

Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium high heat. Melt the butter into the oil. When the butter is melted, add the oregano, garlic and onion and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and cook for an additional minute. Add the chopped tomatoes and season with salt and pepper. Cover, reduce heat to low and cook for 10 minutes. Add the parmesan and mint and cook for an additional 3-5 minutes. Pour sauce into a Vitamix or high speed blender or use an immersion blender to puree the sauce to a smooth consistency. Enjoy over pasta, bread or my personal preference, by the spoonful. Ahhh... sprummer...

Please pass a spoon.

Behind the Mouse's Ears: An Inside Guide to Disneyworld

One google search for "DisneyWorld" left me so overwhelmed that I was tempted to just paint Mickey Mouse ears on our playground and tell my children that the magical kingdom actually already exists in our own backyard. Unfortunately, my children have spent far too many hours watching the Disney channel that even my three-year olds would never even believe me. Blast. With our oldest at eight years old, it seems like we have put off this trip and the endless kid requests to go long enough but if they we want to go, we might as well do it right. So I turned to the experts. Two girls and a guy that have all worked at Disney (or "the Mouse" as they affectionately say) for over a decade. Here is my interview with the three mouseketeers that love their jobs, give advice to those who want to work there and what mistakes families can avoid when planning a "dream" vacation. I will refer to them as Mickey, Ariel and Belle to keep their identities to themselves. And because it feels more fun.

1. What attracted you to work for this company?


Mickey- Love the brand, always wanted to work here.

Belle- I grew up going to Walt Disney World in Florida almost every summer and knew from a very young age that I wanted to work there some day.

Ariel- I've always loved the brand.  In 5th grade, I would wear a different Mickey shirt to school every day and all through middle and high school, my reports were always about Walt Disney. After I did the Walt Disney World College Program in 1997, I knew it was a 'right fit' for me - I loved it, and have been loving it ever since!

2. Do you envision long term employment with this company? Why or why not?


B- Unless I decide to move back to Maryland to be closer to family, I can't imagine living in Florida and not working for the Mouse. So yes, for the forseeable future.

A-Yes. I started with Disney right out of college and I could see myself retiring here.  I love that you can work in a variety of different roles, all within the same parent organization. In the last 10 years, I've had 6 different positions, all in Marketing.  It keeps things fresh and exciting.

M-It's been 12 years, does that qualify for long enough?  Yes, I think I'll stick around for awhile, I enjoy my job and it's an interesting brand to work for.

4. What advice would you give to someone who is interested in working for Disney?

A- Disney is selective so be the best at what you do and let your passion for the job (and the brand!) shine through in every interaction -- from your cover letter to your resume to your in-person interview. It's sometimes tough to get your foot in the door, but once you do, there's a lot of opportunity.


B- If I were talking to a high school student or a college program, the best advice I could give them would be to participate in the Disney College Program, which is a great way to learn about the company and gain experience in the hospitality and entertainment industry. If I were talking to someone already out of college, I would recommend that they network, network, network! Another key piece of advice is that Disney likes to hire from within, so, even if you have to start in an entry-level position in an area that you don't particularly love, it is still a great way to get your foot in the door and can make finding a job in an area that you DO love a little easier!

5. Does everyone start their employment at the same position and salary?


A- Hourly employees in the Parks typically start at the same pay rate, but if you're coming into a professional role, your title and compensation are determined by your previous experience.

6. Do you feel that you are compensated fairly?


M- Yes.  I'm not being forced to work here every day, I'm aware of what I get paid.  (We'd all like to make more money, right?)

B- Monetarily, no. If I were doing the same type of job outside of Disney, I'd probably make a lot more money. However, Disney does offer great benefits, especially healthcare and perks, like free park admission, discounts, free personal & professional development courses, etc.

7. What is the best part of working for this company?


B- It may sound cheesy, but my favorite part of working for Disney is knowing that I work for a company that touches the lives of so many people all over the world. Almost everyone has experienced Disney in some way, shape or form throughout their life - whether they have visited one of our theme parks, gone on a Disney Cruise, shopped at their local Disney Store or even just watched a Disney movie or television show, Disney is a brand that people have grown up with and can grow old with.

A- It's a brand that I've loved and admired my whole life; now I get to carry that legacy forward for future generations and I love that!

M- The people, hands down.  They interesting, fun, and very friendly to work with.

8. Do you feel that there are any misconceptions about either working for Disney or Disneyworld itself?


M- I'm sure there are, but I've been treated great by Disney while I've been here.  It's a very big company, so I think attending a large university helped me acclimate to a large company culture easier. 

B- A common misconception is that if you work for Disney, you work AT Disney - people always think I work inside the park...specifically Magic Kingdom® Park where Cinderella Castle is. Most people don't stop to realize all of the 'behind-the-scenes' work that goes on and how a very large number of Cast Members work in regular office buildings, work regular 9-5 jobs and get to wear regular business attire.

A- Some people think Walt Disney World is just for kids.  That couldn't be further from the truth!  It's a place where everyone - couples, groups of friends, multi-generational groups - can come together and just escape from the craziness of the world for a while.  We need that break from reality now more than ever.

9. What is the biggest mistake families make when visiting Disneyworld?


M- They try to do it all.  It's impossible and will make you exhausted!  What you should do is get a guidemap and have everyone in the family pick an attraction that is a must do.   Make sure you do those, and then just do whatever else you can do during your stay and becomes icing on the cake.   Take time to watch a parade, sit and people watch, it's all good at Disney World.

A- Families who try to do everything in a few days won't enjoy the experience as much as those who simply let the vacation unfold organically.  It's okay to go to the Magic Kingdom and pick out your top 4 or 5 attractions, have a nice lunch, watch the fireworks and parade and leave.  You don't have to check off every item on the guidemap - it's way less stressful once you realize that.  You can always come back!

B- One of the biggest mistakes families make when it comes to visiting Disney is trying to cram too much into a short period of time. To really experience Disney, especially with young kids, I think you need to plan on at least 5 days. Too often, parents are anxious to really get their money's worth and jam-pack every day with visits to multiple parks, waking up at the crack of dawn and not stopping until the park closes. As you can guess, there are LOTS of meltdowns at the parks, with cranky, tired kids (and, in turn, cranky, tired parents)! If you can build in some downtime into your trip, it really helps everyone have a more enjoyable vacation. When we were younger, my parents would always plan on taking a break each afternoon, so that we could go back to the hotel and take naps or just relax at the pool, before heading back to the parks for the evening. My mom said it was the key to a Disney vacation with 3 kids!

10. Where are the best places to stay? Best and worst times of year to visit?


B- My all-time favorite resort at Walt Disney World is Disney's Yacht Club Resort. It is one of our Deluxe properties, so it is on the higher-end of the price scale, but it is well worth it. The location can't be beat (you can walk to both Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios) and it has the BEST pool on property!

M- Depends on your budget and needs, but all the Disney Resorts provide a great experience.  

A- In the value category, I'm loving our newest resort, Disney's Art of Animation Resort - it's perfect for larger families or Disney animation lovers.  Personally, I love Disney's BoardWalk Resort most -- it's a short walk to Epcot and there's some fun nightlife right outside your hotel.  As for when to visit, there are a few especially great times to come: the 3 weeks in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, September (when kids have just gone back to school), basically anytime there's not a lot of families on break at the same time - holidays, summer and Spring Break are always packed - which probably won't come as a shock.

11. What is the best way to save money while vacationing there?


A- If you're on a budget, you can bring in your own food and snacks - many people don't realize that it's completely allowed.  If you've got a family that likes to eat, the Disney Dining Plan is a great value and worth looking into.

B- If you stay at a "Deluxe Villa Resort" (which is basically like staying in a condo), you can take advantage of having a kitchen by eating a few meals in your room instead of dining out during the entire vacation. Even by just having breakfast in your room each morning versus buying it at the hotel food court or at a theme park would help save a lot of money, especially for a family.

M- There are deals out there, you just have to look for them.  You can always bring snacks into the parks to save on food costs, and try to manage expectations for you children.  They're going to see a lot of merchandise.  So maybe tell them they'll be allowed to pick out a gift at the end of the vacation as a souvenir.  Let them look all week, but plan your purchase near the end. 

12. What would you say are the absolute must see or must do attractions when visiting?


B- Generally, if a family has young kids, Magic Kingdom is a must, as that is the quintessential "Disney" experience. However, all of the theme parks have a lot for kids of all ages to do. One of my favorites has always been watching fireworks and the Elecrical Light Parade at Magic Kingdom - in fact, that is how we would always spend the very last night of our vacation. A perfect end to a perfect trip! Some of my other fave attractions/shows (in no particular order) are: Spaceship Earth (Epcot), Pirates of the Caribbean (MK), Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (MK), Rock 'n Roller Coaster (Disney's Hollywood Studios), Kilamanjaro Safari (Animal Kingdom), Toy Story Mania (DHS), IllumiNations (Epcot) and Fanstasmic (DHS).

M- Oh, everyone has their favorites.  Classics like Pirates of the Caribbean or the Haunted Mansion are cool.  Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, and Space Mountain are big-thrills that are fun.  If you're an adult, you'll want to spend time exploring World Showcase at Epcot.  It's just a nice theme park that's different than most, where you can relax and stroll.  (Kids don't normally love that until they are older.)   The safari at Disney's Animal Kingdom is fantastic and I love The Festival of the Lion King show there too.  Plus, you need to plan on watching at least one Fireworks show.  Either Wishes at Magic Kingdom Park or IllumiNations at Epcot.

A- That completely depends on your family, the ages of everyone in your group, whether you're into thrills or not ... I've got favorites in each Park: New Fantasyland, Pirates of the Caribbean, and meeting the classic characters at Magic Kingdom; Soarin' and IllumiNations Reflection of Earth at Epoct; Expedition Everest, The Festival of the Lion King and Kilimanjaro Safaris (I used to drive those safari trucks!) at Disney's Animal Kingdom; and Tower or Terror and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at Disney's Hollywood Studios (I like the thrills).

13. Would you recommend doing a dining plan? 

B- It can definitely save you money, especially if you have a big family. Depending on what plan you purchase, you could get breakfast, lunch, dinner & a snack each day for about what it would cost to feed a family of four just one meal at a park. Most people I know purchase the regular Disney Dining Plan, which gives them one quick-service meal, one table-service meal and one snack per day. There are also higher/lower options available (i.e all quick-service meals or all table-service meals).

A- If your family likes to eat, then yes!  If you just like to have one big meal a day, it may not be for you.  You can call 407 W DISNEY to learn about the different options.

M- It does take a lot of guess work out of your vacation.   We did this as a family last year, and we loved it.

14. How many mickey mouses circulate the park on any given day?


He looks nice enough. I'm still scared.

A- From day #1, we all learn that there's only ONE Mickey!

15. Just how hot is it in one of those character costumes?


M- I'm confused by this question.  They all just wear their clothes.   Mickey wears his Tux, Minnie wears her dress.  It's just like how you and I get dressed every day.

16. What is your favorite ride? Park? Restaurant?


A- My favorite ride is probably Soarin', my favorite restaurant right now is O'hana at the Polynesian Resort (though Beaches and Cream is great if you want something casual and Jiko is #1 for a nice 'grown-up' dinner).

B- My favorite restaurants on-property include: Narcoossee's (Grand Floridian), O'Hana (Polynesian), California Grill (Contemporary), Trail's End (Fort Wilderness), Cape May Cafe (Beach Club Resort), Beaches & Cream (Yacht Club) and Liberty Tree Tavern (Magic Kingdom). I like to eat!

M- Favorite Park: Epcot

Favorite Ride: Splash Mountain

Restaurant: Le Cellier in Canada in Epcot

17. Best place to go for a grown-up night out?


M- Epcot World Showcase.  Sure it closes at 9, but then you can stroll around Disney's BoardWalk Resort and go to Jellyrolls or just enjoy the atmosphere (they're connected.)

A- Downtown Disney - with great dining options, a luxury bowling alley, a movie theater and more, there's lots to do!

B- Drinks on the beach at the Polynesian, California Grill or Narcoossee's for dinner and then live music and dancing at Disney's BoardWalk.

{Note to self: bring a babysitter}

18. Have you ever slept in the castle (is that something people do?)?


B- I've never even seen the Cinderella Castle Suite in person :( So sad. You cannot 'pay' to stay there, but Disney will sometimes giveaway a 1-night stay to guests, Cast Members, sweepstakes winners, charities, etc.

19. How long is the ideal stay at Disney?


A- There's no one 'perfect' amount of time.  You could have a great 2-day visit and see the highlights, or you could stay for a month (and still not see everything!) - every family is different - how much money and vacation time are you willing to invest?  THAT'S the perfect amount of time!

M- I'd say a week.  You can see a lot of stuff and also have a couple of "pool" days or just days to relax.

B- At least 5 days, although I'd recommend 6-7 to really see it all and still have some downtime to just relax and enjoy the resort.

20. Any other words of wisdom for tourists who want to feel like locals?


A- Talk to Cast Members and don't be afraid to ask questions or get advice - most Cast Members love to help ... they want you to have the best possible Disney vacation experience!

M- Manage your expectations, and remember to have fun.   You don't have to see everything in order to enjoy Walt DisneyWorld.   But experiencing the magic through the eyes of kids is kind of incredible - so don't worry so much about rushing from attraction to attraction - worry about being in the moment.   Kids don't know and care what they're missing, but they know fun when they're experiencing it.

So there you have it. Behind the Mouse's ears are pretty squeaky clean and downright adorable. 

I will try not to fear planning this vacation. Plus it helps that Belle is a dear friend of mine. 

Have any Disney survival tips? Don't be a beast... share them below. 

Okay, I'll stop all of the lingo now...